Life sucks. Period.
This was her point of view.
"Such a great day, today is" she sarcastically said thinking aloud. She felt lost. Entirely. Her hands were shaking out of anxiety. Her body temperature in general lowered. She had a migraine. She lost her appetite, even. The only way she could vent all her emotions was to type. . and her spelling, which was usually impeccable, sucked. She couldn't control any of her actions. All her friends were out, or off to work. Not that she blamed them. It's just that these things are noticed more when one feels the way she was at the time.
Her uncle was in hospital, fighting for his last few breaths. She saw him earlier that day. He looked terrible. Now her eyes began to tear up as she remembered walking up to him. Her aunt telling him that she was there. His eyes gradually opening to look at her and that one little word. "Hi". He even smiled at her, as hard as it may have been. She couldn't help but think of his children. A pregnant daughter, Elaine, who was due to go into labor any time soon. Standing there in her uncle's room she felt such respect for Elaine. She was having contractions but she still sat there by her father's side ignoring her own pain. Elaine had a brother, Stefan. He was standing behind his mother constantly trying to comfort her while making sure that his father was as comfortable as possible. Her heart sank as she tried imagining what she would do in their situation. They were being so strong. And she was standing there with tears streaming down her face. Unable to think. Unable to move. Everything that was happening was irreversable. Nothing could be done to stop it. To change it. Nothing.
She soon found herself staring at her golfish. Their colors clashing with eachother. One black. One orange. They were making funny noises with the water as usual. But today, a sound which was usually relaxing became irritating. Everything felt like a distraction. But there was nothing to get distracted from. All she felt was emptiness. Nothing could cheer her up. She felt so totally and utterly vulnerable. Suddenly her phone started to ring. The tone she usually loved just reversed and made a feeling of hatred arise in her. She picked up the phone and read the message. It was from her mom. The mother that she usually couldn't get along with. She messaging to say sorry for not being there. The girl didn't mind. She wanted her mom to be with her brother in the time when he most needed her there. As she got to the end of the message her eyes fogged up again. She was now imagining what she's do if her brother was stuck in hospital with an oxygen pipe stuck to his mouth. She was very attached to her brother even though he lived about 3hours away by plane. He was one of the few people who understood her. He was also a very big influence to her.
Her stomach randomly squashed up into a little ball again and she felt like hurling everything out. All her emotions. All her feelings. Everthing. But instead she pushed her wheely chair back from the laptop she was typing on. Got up. Found a shirt and put it on. Pulled out a random jumper. Left the room. It was time to go back to the hospital.. Just incase.
She forgot all about what she was typing and --- *Post has been abondoned*
Dedicated to my uncle. I don't know what will happen next but I hope it's for the better..
Peace & Love,
Torii xo
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